Death cafés and death doulas

23 Mar


would you go to a cafe to talk about death? About things like where you want to die, what you want to happen to your body, words on your gravestone if you are having one and all that. I would, and I wish there had been one around when Rosie was alive. Because it would have made it all seem a lot more normal. Momentous and unwelcome, still, but more normal. It would have saved that faff with the coffin. Remember that??

and there are people called death doulas. People who accompany people who are dying to help them have a good death. A bit like the birth ones but the opposite. Except it’s not so opposite because birth and death are very closely connected. I think that’s a good idea too. Because you don’t actually know what you are doing when someone is dying. and reading up on it doesn’t work. 

I came across these two things yesterday – at least, I had heard about death cafés before but not the doulas. We’ve been walking the TKOE dog around Iron Age hill fort country this morning in sight of Rosie’s graveyard. So it’s all felt very connected – spring and the cycle of life. Comforting really. 

Thank you to Alessandra and Laura for your TKOE donations this week. Really nice to get that unexpectedly.

i gave blood too – it was GUSHING this time and I’m definitely not anaemic anymore. So the bloodometer is at 5 so far. Has anyone else donated this year? We need to keep count so we can be proud of what TKOE and Team Kilburn has done 🙂

I’ve also joined the stem cell register. You feel all medical when you get the testing kit and the emails are very exciting. So even if you don’t match anyone in the whole world, you get a warm Glow. Imagine if you did match? It’s really easy to join as well. Should we have a TKOE stemcellometer as well?

Jo xx


4 Responses to “Death cafés and death doulas”

  1. celia butler March 24, 2014 at 4:10 pm #

    What an interesting and thought provoking post. I guess the wider the range of available options, the more likely it is that more people will find something that’s useful to them. One size definitely doesn’t fit all, some people find neutral third parties invaluable whereas others need much more personal support.
    Doesn’t feel very springlike today – very cold will heavy rain and wild winds. But fingers crossed that it’s well and truly on the way…x

  2. Audrey Davidson March 27, 2014 at 11:38 am #

    What is the age limit for joining the stem cell register Jo? I am a fairly fit old biddy but perhaps I am too ancient? I just thought that if someone of 85 can be a living doner of a kidney perhaps a few of my stem cells might be acceptable considering I am just a slip of a girl of 82!

    • Jo March 27, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

      I don’t know but I can find out. Xxx

  3. Julia April 5, 2014 at 5:40 pm #

    Paul’s given blood this year.

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