3 Nov

Is that how you spell pestilence? I think so. We’ve had plague again this week. Sylv’s had it this time. She’s better now though.

Rosie’s been in my thoughts a lot as well. She’s in my thoughts a lot anyway, but this week every day I’ve had a jolt of realising that she’s dead. A real jolt. One of the disbelieving jolts where your mind can’t quite accept what it’s just told you. I couldn’t work out why this should be such an issue this week – until this morning.

Last Saturday, Sylvie had a photoshoot, which was a belated thirteenth birthday present. And it was at the same place she and Rosie had one done, which I shall be forever grateful for, as we have some lovely pictures of them. So that must have sparked it off. And then, Sylv being ill was a round of text messages, and hot water bottles and dosing up with paracetamol and magazines for the poorly one and sitting together watching rubbish TV.  For the first time in I don’t know how many years we had no pumpkin carving on Halloween, and I remember last year not being at all sure if you could put a pumpkin lantern on a grave. And I suppose it was those same but different things which had echoes reaching out. So it all feels a bit two steps backwards. I know that’s okay. But it’s disconcerting and unsettling. So we’re off to see some fireworks tonight. 🙂 And it’s the ZUMBATHON next Sunday don’t forget. 🙂

Oh, and I don’t know why my last post didn’t show one of the photos I’d put into it. I’m going to try again and see if it works this time:

Now I have to write this bit before I load the picture, so either this will say – ah yes, it does. Or: curious, why doesn’t it like that picture?

Ah, I see it does work this time. That’s what £802.20 looks like in a jam jar.


Jo xx




6 Responses to “Pestilence”

  1. celia butler November 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    Sending you a big virtual hug, Jo. I guess the first year is about getting through all of the painful anniversaries, and the next phase is the memories that get triggered unexpectedly and catch you unawares.
    But glad that Sylvie is feeling better. Enjoy the fireworks.
    I think they needed a bigger jamjar really – yay! Love to you all. x

  2. Liz Kidd November 3, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    It must be so hard Jo. Can’t believe how well you have done. Hang on in there and just take things as they come. Let me know if you are going to be in Cardiff (saw that you were in these part a few weeks ago) or out and about in South West Herefordshire. We could meet up for a coffee or a bite to eat. Love form Liz XX

  3. dawn November 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    What a paining jolt that must have been, Jo. I hope that Sylvie being better and the distraction of the fireworks has helped ease you through. We look forward to seeing you on zumbathon Sunday, with cake :). x

  4. Chloe Taylor-Jones November 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    Rosie is often in my thoughts for no specific reason, just because I miss her. I gave blood this week, and I always think of Rosie when I do that. I’m sure you’ve had loads of blood donations by now but I’m going to keep on going. I’m nearly at my 10th donation since I started giving. Everyone who can donate should do it’s so easy and takes less than an hour. It’s always busy at the donor sessions which is good. Thinking of you all, Lots of love from Chloe xx

  5. Helen & Harrie November 11, 2012 at 9:05 am #

    Sorry can’t b with you today as I have this cold bug thing still so I would like to wish everyone that is going to the Zumbathon today a fabulous time. I am sure you will all have lots of fun. Will be thinking of you all and remembering that very special young lady…..ROSIE. Xxx

  6. Georgina November 14, 2012 at 7:12 am #

    Oh darling – it is weird what triggers things, smells, music on the radio, Amy getting asked at an interview how her best friend would describe her (you can imagine how this unexpected question affected her – she ‘phoned me in distress – I told her it was okay to be upset – she loved her friend) then 5 minutes later she ‘phoned back – she got the placement!

    Put what you want on Rosie’s grave – it is your and hers space – treat it as a mini room without walls.

    Big hug and love from a still warm and mosy biting land xxxxx

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