We weren’t expecting

4 Nov

what happened today at the probate office. 

 Let me just take you back a bit. Remember how Victorian all the probate stuff is – having to describe Rosie as a spinster, having to pay in guineas, that sort of thing. Well, communications from then on didn’t get any better. Copperplate script oaths in arcane language which required translation showered through our letter box. Under strict instructions not to take any knives with us, we were invited to the probate office today, to affirm our oaths. We took Cal for protection instead. We fully expected to be shown into a dark, wood-panelled room, with a wing-collared clerk replete with scratching quill pen and lecturn. We did not, absolutely not, expect the delightful young girl wearing a hoodie, who scrutinised our passports very carefully and made us feel as though this was a totally ok thing to have to do. Affirming the oaths was a bit wierd. And we each giggled. But we did it. So now we just have to wait for the documents, complete with the official court seal to arrive, and we are away.. Do I mean court seal? Is that a waistcoated, cummerbunded sea mammal? I must mean court seal – you don’t spell it ceil. Or seel. Or ceel. How strange. It looks so odd. 

And . . . we took the pumpkin tealights down to Rosie. We think she liked them.

And none of this made us sad. What did make us sad, was getting The Social Network in the post which we’d put on the DVD rental list for Rosie way back in the summer; and me nearly choosing her a Pippins doughnut from Gloucester market. This does mean we can watch the film whilst eating doughnuts in her memory. But it wasn’t a good few moments. And, I wasn’t going to admit to this, but I think it is probably better to say it. I’ve had two dreams now where we’ve built a side trailer thing for our car so that we can carry Rosie’s coffin on it. What is that about?

 I’ve also realised tonight,  having never had a grave to tend before, it is a bit like having a new pet. You’re not quite sure what to do with it, you’re a bit worried about doing something wrong and you can’t quite believe it’s yours. Hmm.

Longish post tonight. I’ll finish with the picture of Catherine and her amazing purple hair.  The niddy noddy exploits will follow later.


12 Responses to “We weren’t expecting”

  1. Michelle November 4, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    Good on the lass at the probate office, how cool is that, when you least expect it.
    Sad about the film and the buying doughnut, though understandable. I buy doughnuts to celebrate my Dad’s birthday – have to eat them without licking your lips – great giggle contest, and good memories of my Dad.
    Rosie, in a coffin, in a sidecar thingy. Mmmm, dream analysis now. It means that wherever you go, Rosie will always be by your side 🙂
    Catherine – nice hair, you’re amazing.

    • Chris November 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

      Hi Mic, madly waves,

      I know the feeling about celebrating late parents birthdays, we normally light a lovely scented candle for my mothers birthday and always try and do something we did together when she came to visit us whilst stationed abroad either in the Netherlands or Germany or whilst we visited her living in Canada. In the Netherlands around Christmas time they use to sell Oily Boils, a bag lovely hot doughnuts with fruit in them to keep the cold away covered in icing sugar. Ingeborg has the recipe is you still chat to her?

      I totally agree with you about Jo’s dream, it means Rosie will always be with Jo, Chris, Sylie, Calum and Toby too, no matter where you are, but I also think it means include Rosie in the trips and things that you do too, just as I think we do with our families Mic.

      PS, Catherine, love your picture and top, love the smile too.

      Keep smiling everyone, it is the weekend again and time to keep the animals away from the fireworks.

      Lots of love, Chris xxx

  2. celia butler November 4, 2011 at 8:28 pm #

    The probate stuff is unbelievable really, the stuff of black comedy. But good that it didn’t upset you and it’s one more hurdle crossed. Well done Cal in your new role as protection officer.
    I think I’ve said before that grief can be so unpredictable, and it’s often not the obvious things that hurt most but the unexpected ones like the DVD and the doughnut. Dreams are probably part of that, the subconscious trying to make sense of everything, and I guess yours may be about anxiety to keep Rosie close. And maybe your concerns about tending her grave too (although I’m sure what you’re doing is perfect actually, especially pumpkin tealights). I’ve found those sort of dreams can seem very real and it’s very disconcerting to wake up and find they’re not.
    Catherine – your hair must have been so long before!! I was expecting uber short – but your new cut and colour look great. Do love having photos on the blog!
    More niddy noddy to come… yet another blog theme methinks. Love to you all. x

  3. Claire November 4, 2011 at 8:48 pm #

    Likewise my first thought was ‘how long must it have been before!
    A court Seal will always be cummerbunded for me, …unless perhaps there’s a jester court seal, & a wandering minstrel court seal, the possibilities are endless.
    Absolutely love the pet analogy, you do have a wonderful way with words.Were you by any chance weaned on Gerald Durrell’s books? Pets take on the personality of their owners, I think, (well perhaps not at goldfish level), so, rather as with babies, do what you feel is right!
    Dreams are just your head trying to sort things out, unencumbered by reality. Side car for a coffin? No surprise at all. Keep telling us things, thats what we’re here for. And the giggles you provide of course!

  4. Chris November 4, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Good to hear your trip to the probate office went well. Jo, I really think Rosie was there with you so you experienced it in a total different way than we all envisage thanks to government failure to amend legislation that bring to mind wigs, quills and the court jester, lol. Angels move in mysterious ways and I am sure Rosie is one of these lovely angels watching over you that day too.

    Thanks for the tea towel, it arrived yesterday and took pride of place pinned on the door between Kitchen and conservatory for everyone to admire and see. All our display tea towels were moved around even the one my late mother bought us year ago. You know I wonder if the text on Rosie’s design should have read Turkey Dinner rather then Chicken, as Rosie always wanted and loved her turkey after her stays in hospital? Hard to get a good meal in any hospital but Rosie found one she liked that she could bring home to you too Jo.

    The court seal is just an official stamp so then no one can argue against the judgment and proof you have done it in the correct and official manner.

    Great to hear you took Rosie a pumpkin light, I can imaging her laughing as it shines all night, shame you cannot take a fireworks display there too, though I am sure she is watching over you and the family.

    Well folks, I am heading to bed, my belly is swollen and Bev and our grandson Kyle are already in bed. So I will wish you all a good night and please give our love to all the Kilburn family and say Hello to Toby for us too.

    All the best wishes, Bev, Kyle and me Chris too,
    PS, Chris how is eating the blue gummy bear coming along? smile

  5. Helen November 4, 2011 at 11:42 pm #

    I so want a court seal now. Not the wax thingy, but the cummerbunded one. Not sure it would be too happy in our yard though and we only have a shower so couldn’t even put it in the bath. Although, if I was picking animals to have at home I’d actually quite like an elephant. The fact that it would be bigger than the house may be an issue but I’m sure we could overcome that.

    I’ve just re-read what I’ve written and I sound a bit mad there. Time for bed I think 🙂


    • jill Clayton November 5, 2011 at 6:48 am #

      Helen, You should come down to Newent. We have a mammoth auction coming up. I haven’t seen current prices for mammoths but since it’s an auction, you may be able to get one quite cheaply.
      Jo, your dream seems perfectly sensible to me.Just like Claire says, It’s your brain reminding you that Rosie will always be by your side, regardless of minor practical difficulties.

      • Helen November 6, 2011 at 12:29 am #

        Hmmm, a mammoth could be quite hard work though. Just imagine all the hoovering you’d need to do to get rid of all the hair it would shed 🙂

      • Michelle Gabriel November 7, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

        If you only but knew Helen like I do, mmmm.
        When she stated she’d read what she had written and sounded a bit mad, what she meant to write was – What I’ve written make me sound only a little bit mad, whereas really, as some will know, I’m totally mad 🙂
        Love you Helen
        Mic, sane as the rest of you (especially Lin’s cats)

  6. Debbie November 5, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    Lovely post Jo. It conjured up lots of wonderful colourful images in my head as I was reading. You write so vividly pictures just leap off the page! I now have Rosie’s coffin in a trailer next to you too wherever you drive. Though it’s not so much in the trailer but ON it, proud, beautiful and significant. It makes me smile and I find it comforting.
    Any chance of a ‘before’ photo of Catherine? She must have been able to sit on her hair!
    Lots of love

    • Catherine Dufour November 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

      Almost … the only decent hair picture that I could find was of me sitting on a hippo. Considering the conversation line about elephants and mammoths, it’s almost appropriate, but it does look a bit silly …

      • theknockoneffect November 6, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

        Why? Just why were you sitting on a hippo?

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