It’s been one month . . .

12 Oct

today since Rosie died. Chris and I both felt a bit grim first thing – I’m trying to stop the image in my head of us on a boat sailing off, leaving Rosie behind. With the gap between us getting bigger and bigger. So, we put the coat of normality on and off we went.

And when we got home we got more donations for TKOE; we had more messages about fundraising activities for TKOE; and we saw that Zumba Natalie has been very busy indeed. Just before I post a couple of links, you’ve all been very demanding for answers to questions, may I say. So, in no particular order:

      Table top sale is from 11-2 on Saturday – Longlevans Community Hall

      The lollies. Ah, the lollies. To Calum’s total outrage, we kept a very small number to add to our tooth decay problems generated by the gummy bears and the rest got shared – Rosie and Sylvie’s primary school/the YPU at Birmingham QE Hospital which Ro loved so much/some grave decoration. Only Rosie’s. We didn’t go round placing them on other people’s graves. That would have been rude.

And there was another question, but I can’t remember it now. And I don’t mind answering them by the way. Just in case you thought I was cross or something. Now, I am going to end with a link and a picture. I can’t work out at the moment how to post a big picture and still add writing underneath it, so my signature style is going to have to be ending with photos not beginning with them.

So, the link is  This link is only if you can’t participate in what I’m about to put the picture up about. It’s all raising money for Hope Support Service again. Bye for now.


31 Responses to “It’s been one month . . .”

  1. margaret crisp October 12, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Hi, a month already! Seems less than that, and I expect in some ways it may feel the same for you…
    Am glad you are still having donations to TKOE and that the Hope Charity is going to benefit. We are hoping to come back to Gloucestershire before toooooo long, so then will perhaps be able to take part.
    Thankyou for letting us know about the lollies, it eeems as if they all found good homes, and no doubt the dentist will be pleased they didn’t ALL find their way to the same mouths!
    Went for a bike ride today, and am hoping to do a longer one or a longer walk tomorrow – weather permitting! John was talking about a ride from Lands End to John O’Groats, as an ambition, but I find that Staunton to Newent via Upleadon is quite an ambition for me…
    The ride I’m aiming for is 10/15 miles, eventually, on mainly FLAT surfaces…
    Wimp, or feeling my age??

  2. Natalie Bones October 12, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    Hi Jo, it definitely doesn’t feel like a month has passed already. And you are most certainly not leaving Rosie behind, you are carrying on her blog and her work, SHE’S COMING WITH US! 🙂

    Thanks for advertising the Zumbathon and I’m very impressed with your techological skills. xxx

  3. celia butler October 12, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

    I woke very early this morning and my first thought was that today was the one month anniversary for you. Your boat analogy is one that I recognise very well, I think it’s part of the early grieving process. But I promise you that you’re not leaving Rosie behind, you’re adjusting to her being with you in a different way. Natalie is 100% right.
    The fundraising efforts are brilliant and are a very practical endorsement of Rosie’s continuing impact and influence.
    Hope Calum has forgiven you for your regard for his dental health and that tomorrow is slightly easier than today. x

  4. celia butler October 12, 2011 at 8:46 pm #

    PS In the few minutes that I was writing my last reply, there were 58 hits on the blog. How amazing is that? Approaching a third of a million now…

  5. Michelle October 12, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    I can’t for one second, imagine you leaving Rosie behind. I think she’s with you all the time, forever in your hearts and minds.
    Big hugs to you all, Mic

  6. Lin October 12, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    Wore Ro’s necklace today….yes, the days pass, but I’m still dancing….and so are you 🙂
    love ((((((((((Kilburns)))))))))))

  7. Lin October 12, 2011 at 10:18 pm #

    Hmm…new tile…….

    • Michelle October 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

      And I read that as ‘new title’ – what Dame Lin????
      Sounds good to me 🙂

      • Lin October 15, 2011 at 7:54 am #

        Personally I have always preferred Supreme Galactic Overlord …………

      • Michelle October 15, 2011 at 8:25 am #

        SGO Lin it is then 🙂
        Waves back xxx

      • Lin October 15, 2011 at 9:03 am #

        YaaaaYY!!! Finally…….recognition!!!

  8. Jo October 13, 2011 at 5:38 am #


    I’ve been following Rosie’s blog for a long time, since she decided to donate to CLIC Sargent (I worked there at the time) but have never posted any messages- I kept thinking “I’ll do that tomorrow.”

    There’s so much I could say that I’m sure it will have been said already and more eloquently, but suffice to say the number of people who log onto this blog, and who came to Rosie’s celebration to say goodbye sum up what a wonderful person you have lost. I am so sorry.

    I wanted to thank you for the analogy above, about the ship leaving someone behind. While when we lose someone it feels like they’ve left, actually they’re frozen in time and the world, with us in it carries on (though it feels like it shouldn’t) and suddenly you notice it’s been a month, 6 months, a year…. This is exactly how I feel about my mum, who I lost to cancer in 2006. I was 22 at the time and one of the things I hate is that one day I will have been without her for longer than I had her. Your analogy puts into words something I’d never found words for so thank you.

    I don’t have anything constructive to say to help with that, other than that the people we’ve lost shape our every action in some way, consciously or not, and in that way grow with us.

    Thank you for continuing to write the blog, I hope it’s helping you too 🙂


  9. Alison Croft October 13, 2011 at 6:41 am #

    Hi Jo,
    Can’t believe that it has been a month already. Rosie will always be with you in everything that you do though. I always remember my Grandma in the stars and have a good old chat to her every now and then, usually when I need her advice on something!
    Thanks for letting me know the time for the table top sale. Do you want some cakes to sell on your stall as Lizzie and I thought that we could do some baking for TKOE if you think that you have room/would be able to sell them 🙂
    Lots of Love, Alison

    • Rosie's mum October 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

      That would be brilliant. Thank you.

  10. Kath October 13, 2011 at 9:07 am #

    That’s a great photo of Rosie on the Zumbathon poster. x

  11. Georgina October 13, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    A whole month already – the first of many anniversaries to come – she has not moved from your side – your daughter will always be close to her family looking after you all.

    The first year is the worst and it is good to cry – tears do stop eventually.

    Rosie will always be remembered for so many things and look at the work she has left you to carry on with!?!………… bet you will be busy with Christmas orders.

    Big love and sunny hugs to you all – you are doing amazingly well – Georgina xxxx

  12. Pip Armstrong October 13, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    It is indeed a really lovely photo of Rosie bless her cotton socks x

  13. Claire October 13, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Time’s a funny elastic thing, isn’t it; the same event can seem forever ago or yesterday, almost simultaneously . I heard somewhere that traumatic events are ‘recorded’ in a different way by the brain, & don’t fade in the same way as other memories, which is one of the explanations for ptsd. A friend can recall every momemt and conversation of the week when her husband was tested & diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, but has no memory of the day he died, three weeks later.
    Anniversaries are nasty, unpredictable things, they can maul you or snooze as you pass them, but not usually what you expect.
    Keep wearing that coat. Actually it’s a cloak, room for anyone around.
    I’m a big fan of visualisation (surprise!), and perhaps you can use that boat image, if you can create the most beautiful island imaginable for her? Full of her favourite flowers, chicken dinner trees, & with the most outrageously coloured duvet set on the comfiest bed ever. You can’t change the event, but I believe you can have some say in how you continue. Love, xxxx
    PS I’ve been thinking about your request for ideas for TKOE donations, but I’ll e mail if that’s ok.x

  14. Pip Armstrong October 13, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    A friend of mine posted a picture of her baby girl on Facebook today who died when a few weeks old. If she had lived it would have been her 18th birthday today and she remarked that not one day has passed since the day she died when she hasn’t thought about her. A friend has just commented ‘You will never forget her because you will always hear her in your heart beat’ ….. it struck me as a really lovely and comforting thing to say so I thought I would share it with you x

  15. Andrea Clarke October 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    Can’t believe it’s a month!
    Physically Rosie isn’t isn’t here any more (more’s the pity) but spiritually she’s here because she’s in all our hearts and minds. I’m sure she’s going to be there on 13 November with a wry smile on her face wondering what it is i’m trying to do because it sure as hell doesn’t look like zumba!

    xx 🙂

  16. Chloe Taylor-Jones October 13, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    To echo the comments already made, it really doesn’t feel like a month has passed.

    I won’t be able to make the Zumbathon because I’ll be on shift but will certainly donate, what an excellent idea.

    Love to you all


  17. dawn October 13, 2011 at 6:06 pm #

    Hi jo and fam,
    A month…really? I just can’t believe how the days go by. Rosie is most certainly still in our thoughts and her inspiration drives our efforts for the fund raising. You have my permission to make the most of Corrine’s help at the longlevens table sale ;)! I will try and pop in before work but would like one of those new tea-towels, if poss?
    Glad the lollies all got eaten by many…helps to spread dental decay more evenly indeedy!
    Thankyou for your blog Jo x

  18. Charlotte Jones October 13, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

    I’ve not commented before but have read the blog since being directed to it via my daughter, Sylvie’s friend Chloe. I have no comprehension of what you must be feeling and going through right now, and selfishly hope I never do, but I think your amazing family unit is so strong and some how know you will find your way through each day and poignant moment, and I hope they become easier for you and less teamed with sadness, but more with pride and smiles as you remember not only your fantastic daughter who is now at peace, but also in seeing Cal and Sylvie grow and develop in life. We’ve not met but I am amazed by your strength and your courage and find myself coming back here to see how you’re all doing. I wish you all the best. xxxx

  19. Louise Toshack October 14, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    Hi to all at Team Kilburn
    I hope you are all doing well. I can imagine behind closed doors, you all have your moments, but I think you are doing remarkably well given the circumstances.
    I have read Rosie’s blog for a while and whilst I never met her (know her story through friends that know her), I am continued to be touched by her strength and fighting spirit (that goes for all of you). Whenever I am having a completely rubbish day at work, I have a look on the blog and her posts make me smile, realise that there are far more important things to worry about, and kick me into touch!
    She was an amazing person, and someone that everyone should be extremely proud of – which I know you all are.
    I hope you are coping well, I am sure that all the comments from people help – you are lucky to have so many people that care and leave lovely messages – I am sure that helps you in the sadder times
    Sending continued thoughts xx

  20. Trudy Robertson. October 14, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Great to have a chat today Jo.I have just had a look on the TKOE website at the shop and I LOVE the new Tea Towel ha ha It made me laugh great idea.I will be getting some of those.are they ready to buy.?

    • Rosie's mum October 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

      You can certainly order them – they aren’t in stock yet but we thought we’d get some preorders.

      • Michelle October 14, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

        Oh how could you – I’m going to lodge an official compliant, or two. They are (complaints) as follows –
        Tea-towels, made me spend my money, you’re sooooo like Rosie, my money is being extracted by Team Kilburn, instead of just Rosie Kilburn (huge, huge grin, I so love spending my money on you 🙂 Better than spending it in huge corporate supermarkets and shops)
        Whattttttttt???? Not in stock yet???? Pah???? But do I care???? Not one jot, pre ordered my tea-towels just for the sheer fun of it.
        I said to my Fatman guess the design of Rosie’s new tea-towel and he said ‘bet it’s got something to do with chicken’ – how right he is. Also, said, how many should I order, 2? And he said, no, more. So he’s complicit in making me spend my money on you as well 🙂 What is going on? Are you in this together? Just because he cannot have puddings he’s on tea-towels instead 😉
        I’ll spread the word, tea-towels make super c-c-c-c-chr – noooo cannot say that word – festive time presents 🙂
        Mic in a happy mood, tea-towel induced

  21. Jen Wells October 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    The tea towels are PERFECT! That made me laugh out loud, so I ordered two. Are you planning a Christmas special with turkey instead of chicken? It’d be lovely to have “Don’t count the days, make every day count” at some point.

    I keep thinking of Rosie, usually at the strangest times, and she makes me smile every time.

    Love to you all.


    • Lin October 15, 2011 at 8:03 am #

      So do I …….have woken up every morning with the Black Eyed Peas “I’ve gotta feeling” playing in my head…………

  22. Trudy Robertson. October 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm #

    Great jo thanks for that, Will get and pre order mine.

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