Hello-ha-heyyyy it’s me again, my eyes aren’t blurry at the moment so I thought I would make the most of the moment and have a nice little chat with all of you lovely people.
As you know I had quite a bad day on Saturday due to the new drug they put me on, but thankfully that’s out of my system now and my only problems are the horrible skin infection (cellulitis) I’ve got in my calves and I think I’ve bruised a disk in my spine. I’m not in any pain until I stand up and the cellulitis buuurns. It hurts so much I actually had to swear in front of my mother yesterday – I did warn her so I was polite about it don’t worry. I’m on antibiotics that should get rid of it.
Can you believe it’s lunchtime already?! My mornings just disappear because I have my drugs at 9/9:30 and then I sleep a bit more. Anyway, yesterday was a good day and if Mum really didn’t want to watch SATC2 then she would have made more fuss so pah at that! I also managed to sleep quite well after 1am, you know – one of those deep deep sleeps where you wake up and don’t know where you are but you feel lovely and rested.
There is absolutely no structure to this post at all haha, I’m all over the place and I’m going to blame the diamorphine.
I’m happy today but last week I felt like I should be sad, do you know what I mean? I didn’t feel sad but I felt like I should because I have lost my regular life and independence..but I’m not sad about it. It’s strange, I feel like I should be mourning myself and feeling sorry for myself but I really don’t feel that at all and I don’t mind what my life is like now. I just find it strange that I haven’t been upstairs in weeks! I also am quite enjoying seeing my family so much and having my room act like a day room for when people come to visit.
I’ve set myself goals like pub lunch and go up the Malverns with Toby – my first deadline is for the pub lunch in 2 weeks. I’m not going to force anything if I don’t feel up to it on the day though, I’m not stupid.
I feel good because I’ve ordered presents for all my family and I can’t wait to give them out but, of course, this bank holiday is in the way. I also bought a whole box of pombear crisps hahaha, just because I can. Talking of food – I am actually finding it easy to eat solids, it’s lovely!
I’m signing off for lunch, but thank you so so so much for all your comments and support, it really really helps like you wouldn’t believe!