Terminal. It’s a strange word isn’t it? When you’re younger you don’t really understand what it means but you know it’s a bad thing (or something to do with aeroplains). Most people think it equals death, but it really doesn’t. It’s just doctor speak for there is nothing else medical we can do for you right now. As a lot of you have said, that doesn’t mean that it’s definite death, that just means I’ve got to try a bit harder in the mental positivity stakes.
I won’t lie to you, it’s very hard to be positive at the moment. I know I’ve said that before and it’s scary that it’s still hard. I’m hoping I will get there. See, I still have hope.
We think that once the fluid swelling has gone down, and I’ve got rid of this chest infection, I will feel a lot better and more able to fight back. Right now I’m hardly even strong enough to have visitors – I’ve had to turn people away and that was horrible. If you come to visit, or you want to visit, then please just know that I can only really handle about an hour and once you’ve gone I have to sleep all afternoon. I am that ill at the moment.