I don’t know what to say. You all know exactly how to bring mr positivity back around don’t you!
I’m sorry I had to leave you waiting until yesterday evening, but there were people I wanted to tell in person first, as I’m sure you completely understand.
I’m here, I’m still here. I have a horribly cruel joke now where I wake up and tell everyone I’m still alive. I think I need to get these nasty, nearly-not-acceptable jokes out there and then it’ll be okay.
Gosh. I’m blown away. The support is just perfect, but wouldn’t it just be so fabulous if this was some publicity stunt just to sell some more tshirts? I’m afraid it’s not. It’s still something that I can’t push out of my head yet – I am feeling a lot better after yesterday, but this weekend has been written off for grief. (How silly, I can’t grieve for myself!)
Yesterday was a hard day. Yesterday was just getting the most important people to me and making them feel like shit. Because this is shit. How dare the doctors say that to me? How dare they turn around after they had PROMISED to make me better, pull all the crutches away and say you’re on your own now.
When you signed up to read this you signed up to a contract to go through all this with me. You’ve done well on the first step..well we’re still at the starting line really – you’ve done well at the initiation, but this is where it gets tough. This is going to be gritty, but I can also promise it is going to be so much more. This cancer is not going to know what’s happened, it will regret the day that it ever thought to mess with me.
Fucking go Team Kilburn okay? We’re going to fucking do this.