12 Jul

Okay, I need to take a big breath before I tell you this..

Today I spoke to my Macmillan nurse and she told me that my options were ‘thinning out’.

I think as a cancer patient this is in the top 5 of things you don’t want to hear.

I was upset, infact I cried all over the doctors whilst insisting I was fine, but I’ve got an idea. A plan.

My plan is – not to let cancer kill me.


22 Responses to “Shakey.”

  1. Rose Mayerling July 12, 2011 at 9:45 pm #

    Oh Rosie, your so strong , GO for It , I so love reading your Blogs , hope you can get a good sleeps tonight , Love to you and your Dad if he is with , give my love to your Mum ,calum and sylve , lots of love rose xxx

  2. Dollydimple July 12, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    that’s a great plan – stick with it! x

  3. Coz Al July 12, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    That is a grand plan and one to stick to.

    Hugs xxxxxx

  4. Sammy P July 12, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    What a wonderful person you are. Read this today and wanted to share it with you as you give so much to many things and many people.

    There’s something you may give,
    To a friend and stranger too,

    It’s seems that when you give it,
    It’s given back to you,

    This gift is worth a million,
    But doesn’t cost a dime.

    It’s lasting in effect, but doesn’t take much time

    This simple little gesture,
    Can make the day worthwhile;

    It’s just as good as sunshine;
    It’s what we call a Smile

  5. Lin July 12, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    Sounds like a helluva plan to me, babe! :))))
    Sleep well, lovenhugs

  6. Eileen Richards July 12, 2011 at 11:24 pm #

    Rosie, my thoughts and ( I know it isn’t trendy to say it, prayers,) are with you and your family, even your Dad who CBA to talk to me. The power of the mind is a great thing. Keep positive. Good night, sweetheart. Your parents must be SO proud of the fantasic person you are and will continue ; I know I would be in awe of having produced someone like you !!

    Love to all


  7. Mike July 13, 2011 at 2:51 am #

    Rosie, you’re more alive now than 99% of the people I know. You’ve lived through more than most of us will understand or, pray to God, ever have to face. You’re stronger than we are – this blog proves it – and you’ve got just the biggest heart. Cancer can’t kill all that. Maybe it can overwhelm the body but it can’t stop you writing and it can’t erase what’s written. It’s your strength in these words that’s given us the faith, that’s made us believe that your plan’s a good one and you can beat this. We believe it, never stop believing it.

    • theknockoneffect July 13, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

      This is one of the best comments I have ever received. Thank you.

  8. Sue Trevethan July 13, 2011 at 5:59 am #

    I just love a cunning plan. Don’t forget to start it TODAY

    If there is anything you want or need from us at Hope just call and we are here for you .x

    • jill Clayton July 13, 2011 at 6:15 am #

      Hi Rosie, You remind me of Terry Pratchett. When he announced that he had Alzheimers, he said “I’ll make Alzheimer’s sorry it ever caught me!”
      I’m sure cancer wishes it hadn’t taken you on. Not just because of all the money you’ve raised to fight it but because your gutsy attitude has taught us all how we should react.
      I think your plan is an excellent one. I expect the doctors told Stephen Hawking his options were “thinning out” 40 years ago.
      I’ll post your latest column on here later this morning.
      Love to you and your family

  9. Alison July 13, 2011 at 7:29 am #

    Well options may be thinning, they may not, who knows what is around the corner drugs wise and physically for you. But you are one very strong young lady with a fabulous positive mental attitude and I know you will fight this all the way.

    Big hugs and some PMA from Somerset for you Rosie, hope today is an altogether better day and for sure the sun is shining here which always helps!

    As for man trouble, pah, what can we all say!!!!! Been there, done that, worn the T Shirt lol. I guess it is a lot for Toby to deal with too and he is a young man with only a little life experience so far eh? Hopefully you will get a chance to sit quietly and talk things through.

    Ali xx

  10. trudy July 13, 2011 at 7:52 am #

    Hi Rosie,Great plan you have there.Hope you have a better day today.we are all here for

  11. margaret crisp July 13, 2011 at 8:04 am #

    Hi Rosie, sorry I didn’t read your post last night so couldn’t reply sooner -BUT today is a new day and the beginning of your plan in which we are all behind you every inch of the way! As Mike says, through your writings you have given us the belief that you can beat this.
    love and hugs, mags.

  12. jill Clayton July 13, 2011 at 8:12 am #

    This is Rosie’s latest Citizen column for those of you who can’t get at the Citizen:

    Why it is alright to take a nap at 2 pm

    When was the last time you did nothing? The Italians have a concept called “La Dolce Far Niente” which translates to ‘the sweetness of doing nothing,’ the idea that instead of being go, go go and having to refresh your e-mails one more time, you just do what you’re inspired to do, sit and look at a view or walk past a cake shop and smell the fresh treats.
    Just take a few moments, even hours, of your day to be care free and trust your instincts when they say ‘Yes, it is ok to take a nap at 2 pm.’ I know a lot of you will be reading this and saying “I can’t take a nap at 2pm!
    ‘I’ll be at work!’ but I say why not ask, on a whim to go home early today?
    Your boss may say yes, but if they say no then book a holiday day and use that for going with the wind.
    The trouble with seeing your one week, booked holiday break as the allotted time for relaxing is that you forget holidays are actually very stressful, you may not have to remember to feed the cats or take the kids to school but you are still running a holiday.
    The nothing I am talking about is where you have no troubles and the time is your time and it cannot be wasted no matter where your urges take you. It is about enjoying where you are right now and being happy that you’re not worrying. Grasp the sweetness every day and just be.
    On the other hand, do you remember in my last column I mentioned a Zumbathon?
    We planned and we advertised solidly for a month. I got ill but carried on answering e-mails from my bed; Natalie practised her Zumba until she could practise no more without fear of straining something important and I am pleased to tell you it was a huge success and I would like to thank every single person who came, danced, helped, whooped, smiled and donated.
    We raised a massive £1400 just in cash and there are other individual fund-raising totals to add to that! I’m so pleased we can help Maggie’s Caring Centre in Cheltenham and allow them to carry on being a fantastic place for cancer patients and their families to appreciate La Dolce Far Niente

  13. Michelle Gabriel July 13, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    My Dad’s hair thinned out, in fact, after chemo, it disappeared. But it grew again (albeit as, in his words, bum fluff).
    You will thin out and yet you, like a flower, can grow again.
    Eshaness’ options thinned out some 6 years ago, at nearly 20 she’s still creaking on (and that’s nearly 98 in hooman years). I’ll tell her to vibe hard for you.
    Mic xxx

  14. ro July 13, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Thinning out makes things more difficult, but not impossible. Fewer options doesn’t mean no options.
    It’s good to cry, and don’t feel you have to insist you’re fine! Sometimes it’s ok not to be fine, and to accept that.
    Thinking of you, Ro

  15. celia butler July 13, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Ditto to all that everyone else has said.
    I love your latest column, am going to adopt that phrase La Dolce Far Niente when people ask me what I’m going to do after I move back to Wales next week.
    A bit of Italian weather wouldn’t come amiss though…
    Keep strong and thinking of you all. x

  16. margaret crisp July 13, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    Hi Rosie, like your column…I must admit I find it hard to do nothing and need to work on it!! Thanks Jill for posting it!
    Thinking of you, love mags.

  17. Pip Armstrong July 13, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    Time to go alternative, never give up, you’re built of stronger stuff than that, there IS always another way and you have the wonderful internet at your disposal to find out where to go next. Do what you have to do and ignore anybody that tells you otherwise, keep fighting brave girl x

  18. Kath July 13, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

    Well, that nurse didn’t pull any punches, did she? I think what you need now is much more information…what exactly are the thinned-out options, what order would it be best to try them in and what are their success rates – that kind of stuff. Then you can formulate a strategy about how exactly you’re going to prevent cancer from killing you. Mind you, your general plan’s an excellent start and an brilliant follow-up to a good cry.

  19. Robin July 13, 2011 at 5:11 pm #

    grrrrrrrrr i can’t belive that a nurse used those words.

    Im real gutted to hear that but I don’t believe it, and your plan is like the best plan that I have ever heard.

    Great article in the citizen, well done, again. It touched home as I used to be the king of trying to get others to join me in doing absolutely nothing sometimes, its incredible, although nowadays I almost never do nothing ( double negative? ) any longer, and I yearn to do so again as soon as possible.

    I know i dont need you to but chin up Rosie fight on, lets have it. Cancer, come on then think your hard?


    • Robin July 13, 2011 at 5:14 pm #


      I know i dont need to tell you to but chin up Rosie fight on


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