Waking in the night.

23 Jun

No no no the hospice itself, as a building, with the staff, was fine..it’s the fact that it was a building full of dying people that I didn’t like. The first thing I saw was a lady who actually looked like she was dying..I probably sound very insensitive, but it freaked me out okay? I was sent there and I’m not dying – Alex (my mums cousin who I went on holiday with) and I have worked out that I felt so uncomfortable because I was just too well. That environment just wasn’t right for me..it doesn’t matter which hospice you put me in, I just won’t feel right. Even if I’m dying I don’t want to go to a hospice. I do know that they are trying to change the image of hospices and they should because they are a pain specialist house for people, like me, who have pain that needs sorting or for patients AND their families/carers who want a nice massage or something. Even somewhere to go for people to talk to a therapist if needs be..but right now hospices – as I see them – are places where dying people go to die.

I sound immature and uneducated there don’t I..? I’m just writing how I see it and it scares me..although if you recall I said that you shouldn’t be scared of death, however I don’t think it’s the death that I didn’t like, I think it was the fact that everyone just didn’t look happy..It felt like there was an air of desperation coming from the families and that’s not a nice feeling, but it can’t be helped I guess..No one wants their loved ones to die.

No, if I start ‘on the spiral downwards’ (which I’m far far away from right now) then I want to be at home..not in a hospice. ALTHOUGH their food was very nice! Very very nice! I might have to think about that actually..Maybe I’ll go for a week to try out all the dishes and then I’ll come home..yeah.

So anyway, that’s not the reason I came on here..I came on here to ask if any of you think there is a link between the fact that I have been waking at 1am and 4am every night for the past 10 days and that, when I was a baby, I woke at those exact times for my night time feeds? I reckon there is..I think that’s cute.

I felt okay this morning, even though – as you already know – I woke in the night, twice, but then this afternoon I felt rooough. I was sicky and I’m finding it hard to eat this evening. We did, however, get a call from the doc to say they are putting me on antibiotics tomorrow, so hopefully that will ‘kick butt’.

I would also like to state for the record, that that horrible smell in the bathroom was not me. I’m blaming Calum personally.


7 Responses to “Waking in the night.”

  1. Lucy and russ June 23, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    I think you and your mums cousin are on to something! I agree x

  2. celia butler June 23, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    And I like your night waking theory too. Maybe it’s part of our human biology and maybe related to the fact that you’re needing a bit of extra care from your parents at the moment because of this nasty bug that you’re fighting off.
    Our offspring stay our babies no matter how old they are…x

  3. margaret crisp June 24, 2011 at 6:36 am #

    Hi Rosie, good to read another post from you! If it’s not you thats making the bathroom smelly, then there are several other people in the household you can blame!
    I think too, that the problem with the hospice was that you are, thankfully, just too well – your relations are right. I think if you are really really ill then you don’t mind where you are – it doesn’t make much difference.
    Heat-wave forecast here today, am up early and have showered and watered outside – but not yet dressed. A good job we’re isolated or people would see me in a dressing gown, watering! NOT a pretty sight.
    love mags.

  4. Lin June 24, 2011 at 6:38 am #

    In my experience “that” smell in the bathroom is usually your dad……maybe Calum has inherited it tho…………:))

  5. Robin June 24, 2011 at 1:06 pm #

    Hey Rosie

    I think I get what you mean about the hospice, you are very positive about pretty much everything, and if you are surrounded by the opposite of that it must be verydepressing. I agree that you should be at home at that time, maybe you could just get the meals delivered and have the best of both worlds?

  6. Pip Armstrong June 24, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    I think you must do whatever you and your mum feel comfortable with, if it freaks you out going there that’s not good and you should ask to have any outpatient treatment you need somewhere else. How about the community hospital in Malvern or Ross?

  7. Pip Armstrong June 24, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    I actually meant to write ‘you and your mum and dad’ on the last comment, not sure what happened to your dad lol :o)

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