17 May

Rob and I did some filming for Rosie TV part 3 today. I’m a bit tired so I wasn’t really up to my full potential but don’t worry it was still good.

Temp check – 36.3 – no emergency.

I have to go to work soon but I’m taking sanitiser with me in case anyone sneezes on their money and touches me or something, you know how it is.

Why is death treated as such a bad thing? I get that people don’t deal well with loss and all, but death isn’t unique. Also, cancer doesn’t equal death so why keep it quiet? Why don’t people talk about death more? It’s an interesting subject because on one side of things it’s okay to die if you’ve done your life and you’ve been happy and you’ve made the most of it and then on the other side if you’ve not had a good life (say you were kidnapped) then it’s also good to die because you wouldn’t have to suffer? If you’re dead you don’t know what you’re missing out on because you don’t know you’re missing because you’re dead. I know there will be people saying ‘but they shouldn’t have to die’ but that’s not to do with death that’s to do with the bad thing..not death. I don’t want answers to any of these, I’m just wanting you to rethink. I know there is all the grieving but grieving is for you and not the dead should be happy that the dead person was happy (if they were happy), if you know someone who’s not happy then tell them to make themselves happy – there is always a way out. If you get a terminal illness then you shouldn’t focus on the death you should focus on the life and then by the time the death comes it’s okay because you’ve had the life. I know that I am one person saying one thing and it would be naive of me to think that there wouldn’t be other opinions but this is how I see it. I’m talking about you and your death not how you feel about other peoples deaths.

Another thing, why do people automatically change their feeling when someone mentions cancer? Like, Rob was telling me today that he said to someone about how he had been filming a girl with cancer and the person he was talking to was like ‘oh dear :(‘ – why negative? Why? Why is the default to be pitying and sad? Change it. Sort it out.


9 Responses to “Filming.”

  1. barbara May 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

    I like the idea that you are not really dead while there is someone who is alive remembers only die when there is no living person around who knew you and had memories of you.It is some religion/tribe that has this belief.I am going to leave instructions that when I pop my clogs I want my life celebrating and no grieving.An interesting topic rosie and an essential one to discuss.

  2. carol lewis May 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    I now like meeting people that I have’nt met for years and they have no idea that I had cancer & I dont have the sympathetic looks and I can say to them “How are you” and yes I’m very good thankyou. Normality………lovely.
    Death….I want mine to be a great big party for everyone I leave behind, I luv parties & music so thats how I want to go. Might have the party before I go so I can be there too.

  3. jill Clayton May 17, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

    I don’t think it’s fear of death so much as fear of dying. Woody Allen said “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens!”

  4. Dee May 18, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    Ooooh Rosie – lots of interesting, thought-provoking questions! Got me thinking quite a lot and would make interesting face to face conversation but I wouldn’t want to write a full-blown essay in your comments section so just a few thoughts…

    I think that it is often very difficult for people to know how to respond when they meet others who are living with an illness whether it is cancer, MS, kidney disease etc.
    I have never met you but know from your blog that cancer does not define you, you are busy living your life and cancer is just a factor that influences the choices you are able to make. You are mature,insightful and articulate. You also have solid support from a loving family and friends.
    Many people don’t have this. They react with fear to a cancer diagnosis because they associate it with painful treatments – surgery or chemo that may alter their body image. They may actively want sympathy – some acknowledgement that they are going through a rough time.
    What I’m trying to say is that it is impossible to tell initially how someone is reacting to their diagnosis and perhaps the default position is sympathy and concern because to be a bit cheery and positive may be misconstrued as being superficial and uncaring. Very complex! Don’t get me started on death now or it will be an essay πŸ™‚

    • theknockoneffect May 18, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

      How very true – I hadn’t thought of it that way, thanks πŸ™‚ It’s an interesting topic to discus, I wanted to write it but I didn’t want to sound silly and narrow minded.

  5. Robin May 18, 2011 at 1:43 pm #

    I love what Barbara said and I agree with Dee, it is a very complex balance, and having known 3 people with cancer I know that they were each very different cases, and each had very different outlooks on life. I don’t know you but I can assure you that your outlook is unique in comparison, and therefore you will likely get the default reaction setting based on others experiences, until they get to realise that you are not one to feel sorry for, quite the opposite.
    It is not just for people with serious illness either, every one is individual with regards to how much sympathy they require from others for various situations, so it is no different for those with serious illness. Some will be bitter and angry with the world and others will have brighter outlooks. And then others ( unless you truly are unique ) will have the most incredible perspective on life and no matter what holds them back will never need nor want sympathy nor pity from anyone for any reason.

    You live with cancer, others die with cancer, long before the cancer actually takes their last breath. Your amazing.


  6. celia butler May 18, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    If we hadn’t done the inspiring thing already I think this would be it…your insights are very special. x

  7. Michelle May 18, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    I like the ‘death isn’t unique’ – blooming well is as it only happens to you (you being the general term) once (unless you’re Dr Who πŸ˜‰ ) so for it to happen it’s a pretty unique thing.
    But it’s not an unusual occurance. But it still comes and smacks us in the mush πŸ™‚
    I think we all tread lightly about cancer as in the past it was a death sentence – there was no viable treatment, not help, it was – hush, hush, the big C, don’t talk about it, and all that.
    Now I think, we all know of someone who’s had it and life goes on. Treatment works, helps, life’s prolonged. Years ago (100s of years) it was smallpox, or plague, now we have other problems. Maybe in a hundred years time, people will say ‘they had that cancer all them years ago’. Let’s hope so.
    Mic πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: