One of those thinking about life days.

24 Jul

You know the ones? Where you find something from the past and just realise how much everything has changed and then you think about how much everything will change. This time next year I will have finished sixth form, finished cancer treatment (right? Although I’ve said that every year since I’ve had it), getting ready for uni and just seeing where my life is going to go. I don’t really have a plan, what’s the point? It’ll all change anyway – I can tell you that from first hand experience..I never thought I would get cancer and it would just mess up all my education. Also, I was thinking, if I don’t get rid of this cancer then I won’t be able to go to uni next year because I just won’t have time for it..I would be in class 5 times a week 9-6 and there just wouldn’t be time to take a few weeks out for some poxy operation..It’ll be bad enough taking a day out for scans..Although, how long does it take to go from Cardiff to Brum? I may just get the afternoon lost..or the morning..Hmm. Ha, thas assuming I go to Cardiff..I’m pretty dead set on going there, I’ve got my foot in the door and I absolutely love the location..If I don’t get into Cardiff then I won’t be happy :/. Talking of uni, I’ll have to start filling my UCAS forms out soon, well..now really.. Where do I get them from? Haa.

I have got half a plan..I know what I want to be and I know what order I want to do things in..So like, I want to be an actress – so desperately, it’s embarrassing – and then I want to get a house, get a career, or those might happen the other way round, or at the same time, then get married, then have children..getting the children depends on how fertile I’ve been left from all this treatment….however I don’t mind giving the whole labour thing a miss. I’ve had enough pain really. Obviously there’s adoption and stuff but I’m definitely not at that stage yet so no need to worry.

In a year my whole life is going to change. It’s going to go in a completely different direction to where I’ve been so far, just getting school out the way. I also want to get back in touch properly from Tom in London..You know my friend Tom? No? Well he’s the father of my godson (in a completely unchristian way on my part) Alfie and I haven’t seen him properly for ages. I used to go down to London all the time and it was so great, I loved it, and then when I got cancer it just wasn’t easy to go down there and then Ang had Alfie and it just became difficult for London trips to happen..I’m thinking about going down whilst mum and dad are on holiday. I’ll take chocolate too.

Isn’t it so strange that everything changes. Does it ever go how you expect it to go? Or how you want it to go? I’m going to make sure that it goes better than I could ever hope.

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4 Responses to “One of those thinking about life days.”

  1. mags July 24, 2010 at 4:51 pm #

    Hi Rosie, I never anticipated living in France, but here I am and loving it…noone knows what life has in store!! Cardiff sounds good, and not too far from home when theyr’re dirty washing to do etc etc!!!
    Have a goods weekend, love mags.

  2. celia butler July 24, 2010 at 5:25 pm #

    So glad that the course at RWCMD is living up to expectations and that it has confirmed what you want to do and where you want to go after school. You will have so much more life experience to offer than the average drama student, as well as talent of oourse. As for the rest, it’s probably a good reminder for all of us that the only thing to do is live for the day. We none of us know what’s round the corner after all. So on that note – have a great time next week and get that trip to London planned! x

  3. Amyyyy July 25, 2010 at 6:46 pm #

    YESSSSSS go to Cardiff and come live with me 🙂 Providing I get in…unlikely but im gonna be optimistic until proven different!xxxxxx

  4. Lin July 28, 2010 at 12:20 am #

    Rosalind Eleanor Kilburn……..there are some days in this life when you just have to tell people that you love them, and I just read this and today became that day:)

    I love you, Ro :))))))

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